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Skimping on Toilet Paper: A House in Crisis

My wife bought the cheapest toilet paper in the world this week, and I just wanted to take a moment to publicly shame her by blogging about it.

Because, frankly, I’m not sure that what she bought classifies as toilet paper. I’ve seen thicker dryer sheets. There’s two-ply, there’s one-ply, and then there’s this.

It’s like half-ply. I feel like I’m sneezing into my hands when I use it. And that’s when I’m sneezing. You can imagine what it’s like for anything else. Half the time I’m actually making more of a mess. It’s like trying to clean up hot wax with a 100 year old wet wipe.

Picture a guy showing up to an oil spill with a single beach towel (“well, five thousand more of these and I think we’ll be pretty close”). That’s me.

God help us should we ever have guests in the house.

Anyway, to think that, for an extra eighty cents, all of this chaos, bitterness, and excessive showering could’ve been avoided… I just hope we’ve learned our lesson here.

We HAVE learned our lesson here, haven’t we?!

    • #Life Lessons
    • #Toilet Paper
    • #LOL
  • 9 months ago
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I'm a content & community strategist at Grady Britton in Portland, Oregon. I like to tell jokes and take photos. I live with my wife and dog.

You can see more stuff that I've been up to at tylerriewer.com.

Email: tylerriewer [at] gmail

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