Skimping on Toilet Paper: A House in Crisis

My wife bought the cheapest toilet paper in the world this week, and I just wanted to take a moment to publicly shame her by blogging about it.

Because, frankly, I’m not sure that what she bought classifies as toilet paper. I’ve seen thicker dryer sheets. There’s two-ply, there’s one-ply, and then there’s this.

It’s like half-ply. I feel like I’m sneezing into my hands when I use it. And that’s when I’m sneezing. You can imagine what it’s like for anything else. Half the time I’m actually making more of a mess. It’s like trying to clean up hot wax with a 100 year old wet wipe.

Picture a guy showing up to an oil spill with a single beach towel (“well, five thousand more of these and I think we’ll be pretty close”). That’s me.

God help us should we ever have guests in the house.

Anyway, to think that, for an extra eighty cents, all of this chaos, bitterness, and excessive showering could’ve been avoided… I just hope we’ve learned our lesson here.

We HAVE learned our lesson here, haven’t we?!

20 Notes/ Hide

  1. mystellar said: I am dying laughing here! And, I’m sorry. It’s paining me too.
  2. ideachute reblogged this from tylerriewer and added:
    Ok … I think I have...same issue going on right now, so I’m adding my support. My...
  3. fisherspop said: My boss did this on the last purchase and of course it was the Costco size bundle, so I have to deal with it for probably the next few months. Needless to say I give him shit about it everyday
  4. evhuwa said: Ah you will have guests, we are coming out next weekend. Better use it all up before then.
  5. tylerriewer posted this