Tyler Riewer's Random Internet Stuff

The Homeless Woman

Last night, as I was getting off the train, I locked eyes with a homeless woman as she was putting on a second pair socks… preparing for the chilly night. She gave me a polite hello, and I stopped. She kept looking at me and suddenly I was trying to think of what I had that I could give to her. Food, I thought. I had a can of green beans that I never got around to eating at lunch (weird, I know). I opened my bag and took out the can. “I’m not sure if you even have a way to open this,” I started. “I’m not going to carry that!” she snapped back. I was dumbfounded. I didn’t know how to respond. I walked away.

This morning, as I was headed to the train, I locked eyes with the same homeless woman. This time she was pushing her shopping cart toward me. I thought I should try again. “Good morning,” I offered. “MOOOOVE!” she shouted. “What?” I asked in confusion. “I SAID MOOOOOVE F***ER!” she yelled even louder. My mouth opened but no words came out. I walked away again.

This is twice that she’s shot me down. Both times publicly. And I’m sure she thinks I’m gone for good. But I happen to know a thing or two about rejection, and I’ve heard a lot worse than “move f***er.” So guess what… someone’s getting a plate full of peanut butter and jelly squares later. And there’s nothing she can do about it.

This homeless woman and I will be sailing down a hill together in that shopping cart laughing with the wind in our hair before the weekend. Mark my words.