January 2012
11 posts
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What goes on in the mind of a sniper →
Fascinating.
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Turning 30
I’ve wanted to be thirty my entire life. I remember watching Big when I was 6 or 7 and being soooo jealous. I just wanted to skip right to that part. Where I was getting paid to do something cool and still living the dreams of a kid. Thirty meant finally being able to buy a pinball machine and turning the basement into a laser tag fortress. I couldn’t wait. I’d be sipping coffee...
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The Joy of Quiet →
We barely have enough time to see how little time we have (most Web pages, researchers find, are visited for 10 seconds or less). And the more that floods in on us (the Kardashians, Obamacare, “Dancing with the Stars”), the less of ourselves we have to give to every snippet. All we notice is that the distinctions that used to guide and steady us — between Sunday and Monday, public and private,...
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New Year's Resolutions for Dummies
Things I will DEFINITELY do: • Watch more NCIS!! • Cash in Marlboro Miles for bitchin leather jacket • Lose wait • Get in accident that’s not my fault • Earn money back in Vegas
Things I will definitely maybe do: • Sell discman on E-b-a-y • Get laaaaaaaid (not from wife) • Win the lottery • Finish beer can pyramid
Things I will...
December 2011
8 posts
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The Year's Best Humor Writing 2011 →
splitsider:
I’m a firm believer that Becca O’Neal, editor of The Humor Section at Splitsider, is the most well-read editor of humor writing anywhere, and this year’s edition of her guide to the best of the best proves why. Comprehensively researched and lovingly selected, it’s the ultimate place to find something funny to read. Tons to bookmark/add to Instapaper in here!
So much...
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New Christmas Traditions
Ashley and I are spending this Christmas without the family, so we’re taking it upon ourselves to create some new traditions. Here’s what we have on the list:
Chestnuts
Latkes
Prime Rib
Crab
Whiskey
Champagne
Movies
Puzzles
Games
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The Magic of Confidence
James Nord wrote a post earlier today called “Where have all of the cool kids gone?” — talking about the things that make us “cool” and ultimately, about being confident in yourself. Ashley and I had this conversation last night, and I wanted to chime in. You know what I was good at when I was a kid? Nothing but imagination. I was horrible at most sports, awkward with...
November 2011
16 posts
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Grocery List of the 1%
Dolphin Steak
99% Milk
Eagle Eggs
Diamond-Ground Mustard
Spicy Caviar Doritos
Lobster-Flavored Filet Mignon
1855 Bordeaux Concentrate
Truffle Oil Body Lubricant
Mink Toilet Paper
Egyptian Cotton Paper Towels
Bottled Holy Water
Monocle Polish
Canned Maid Food
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A note about incredible families for my incredible...
I went back to Nebraska this past weekend for 48 hours. I flew in at 5:00 on Friday and left at 5:00 on Sunday. In that time, I saw twenty three different family members… my parents, sister, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins… TWENTY THREE! And in almost every case, I saw each of them on Friday, Saturday, AND Sunday. This is my family. Twenty three different people who cleared their...
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Letters From Penn State →
anniewilkins:
This makes me a pretty proud Nebraskan. Here’s to hope and healing.
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There’s nothing bothering me, honey, that a piece of roast beef...
– Louis Armstrong (All That Meat and No Potatoes - from Satch Plays Fats) — despite the original meaning of the song, it’s catchy. And I like this line from Louis a lot.
October 2011
13 posts
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Possible routes to the Big Ten Championship →
For my fellow Husker fans… if you want to get your heart racing.
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Seven Years Old and Totally Not Scared of...
Oh, hey mom. Yeah, no, I just thought I’d call it a night. I wasn’t scared. Obviously. I’ve been nightlight-free for, what, eleven days now? I think that speaks for itself. I’m just kind of over Halloween. Getting all dressed up like this. I mean, who are we trying to impress? I feel like we’ve come further than that, you know? As a country. Our founding fathers are...
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I don't seem to spend very much time writing for...
Alright, I’ll tell you the truth… I’ve never been to the moon. I lied before. When I said that I snuck onto that rocket ship… that was a lie. I’m sorry. But if it helps, I believed it for a while myself. Because I remember it pretty clearly. Sneaking onto the rocket as it was taking off. Pretending that I was delivering a pizza. I slipped right by security. And next...
September 2011
10 posts
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